Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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