If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
