I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize