Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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