There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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