mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you will always have a special place in my vag
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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