The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
