I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize