we have officially lost it.
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
