So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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