I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize