My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
