You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
