physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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