I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
