All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
