The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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