why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
