He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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