Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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