No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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