I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
