are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
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