my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
