so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
