Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
As shirtless as possible
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize