they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
