you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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