I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
