apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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