He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
