seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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