I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
