Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Randomize
