Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
