omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
