Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
