Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
