my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
