Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
