Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
