my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
