I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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