Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He did a backflip because drugs
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
