god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
