Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
