shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I could make wine with my vomit
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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