She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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