I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
