worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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