I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
