im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize