at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just saw a hot homeless man
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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