But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
