Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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