I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize