It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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