we have pet lesbian snakes
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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