we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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