Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
