I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I want a musical about memes.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
