Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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