If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize